 .
...and I've decided to do something about it. Maybe I should, however, merely be revising for my exams.
(That's not ,me in the picture by the way. I think, by the looks of things, they might be Americans, the teachers that is, I mean I can't see any guns in the pictures, but then of course in China guns aren't allowed in the classroom, because, ahem, some of the Students Might Get Hurt, whereas in American schools they probably will be within a couple of years.)
Incidentally, I would like just like to take this oppurtunity to be the second ever person in the world (here is the first) to question the use of the verb 'to port', as in 'to transfer your number from one 'operator' to another'.
|
I’ve always found it a bit puzzling that people pay (often lots of) money to sit in a class and practise speaking foreign languages. Everyone on earth already has at least one language at their disposal and it’s not too hard to track down someone who wants to learn that language and in return will help you as your try your hardest to make yourself understood in their language. It’s just a case of tracking down that someone, which these days, what with the gumtree and whatnot, is not a very difficult task at all.
Of course occasionally you may, especially if you’re a woman, meet people with ulterior motives, or who are actually just really boring, or who laugh pitilessly every time you try and put a sentence together – or in the case of Mandarin Chinese, look at you with such puzzlement that you’d think you’d just told them there was something wrong with the Communist Party, whereas in fact you were simply trying to let them know that you come from Sheffield and you prefer broccoli to spinach. But on the whole it’s preferable to and a lot more effective than, say, paying €50 a month to some unscrupulous bastards who will continue fleecing your bank account long after the school has gone bankrupt and the teacher has fucked off back to London in poverty, or, if you’re Brazilian, will stick you in a tiny classroom on Oxford Street with eighteen of your compatriots so you end up speaking less English than you would back home.
Now I come to think of it, language teachers spend so much time trying to make their students pretend that they are not actually in a classroom at all that it really makes you question the point of being there in the first place.( Read more... )
|
Imagine a war between Somalia and Iraq. How bad would that be? Imagine if Sri Lanka joined in! It's ... inconceivable. Except it's not, I conceived of it the other day, in class.
I imagined it just after each of my two students had finished speaking, reasonably eloquently for a low-level class, on the subject of how tragically, totally and infamously had their respective countries collapsed into barbarism, and about how they could, in almost all certainty, never go home again.
We sat in silent reflection for a moment or so. I had to try to lift the gloom that had descended. I had to try and cheer us all up. I thought, what's a way in which things, in the absence of hope, could possibly be worse. A simple answer came to me. So I suggested it. They looked at me blankly. They hadn't understood. I repeated it slowly. They looked confused. We did 'between' and 'invaded'. And 'war'. They smiled. We laughed! What an idea! Gayness returned to the classroom. What a relief!
One of my students is an interesting character; he comes from Basra and speaks Aramaic, which they! told me was a dead language, but means that speaking to him is a bit like speaking to Jesus, or something. He used to play football for the Iraqi reserve team, and hasn't been to the cinema since 1974. As his surname is Baki, and he introduces himself to people with his surname, and he has a slight problem with his 'ps' and 'bs', he spent the first few months of his life here calling himself 'Paki'.
The other student (or 'customer', as they infuriatingly refer to them in my, fuck it, school) used to be Somali, but is now French, and I when I came back from my break the other day she actually appeared to be reading a book, and the book was in French, so, you know, she must be very clever.
We moved on to talk of other matters, and to tackle together a simple worksheet I had assembled on the difference between 'jack up' and 'jack off'. But throughout the rest of the lesson my outlandish notion, that two of the world's most beleaguered nations might for no reason at all turn on one another in warfare, came to be mentioned more than once, so much in fact that by the end of the lesson I was beginning to regret ever having made - purely in jest - such a suggestion. I began to feel a little ... apprehensive. Had I, with my glib remark, somehow unleashed forces that it would ultimately prove difficult to contain?( Read more... )
|
I think I have actually become quite attached to my ongoing poverty over the last couple of months; there is in the end, as Jesus tried to tell us, and as Mr. Potatohead, with his austere yet exemplary disavowal of everything but a simple nose, and a pair of blue trainers, seems keen for us to understand, something heroic and noble about the prospect of eating nothing but onion pie and potato sandwiches for the next twenty-two days, and I would heartily recommend the large transnational teaching organisation I work for to anyone considering a healthy and holy future as some sort of ascetic hermit.
|
Get your students to analyse this sentence:
That's why they don't walk apples any more.
Hour and a half, no problem.
|
For anyone who thinks that this blog should probably have something to do with teaching, like I do, here is a lesson plan I made up in my head while I was 'Just Sitting There' thinking hard about shoplifting and what the hell I'm gonna do tomorrow in class...
Shoplifting Lesson
Show students something you can claim to have stolen - bananas or Ipods work wonders. Ask them how much they think it cost. Tell them you it didn't cost you anything, and try to convince them that you nicked it.
Say 'No, haha, of course it's not stolen' and show them the receipt ('ask for 'un recibo, por favor'' (Time Out Madrid, 2002)) (unless of course you did steal it, that is, in which case Hey hey!, well done, I'm jealous).
See if they know any other words for 'steal' - teach them nick, swipe and 'five-fingered discount'. Elicit Shoplifting.
Ask them if they've ever taken anything from a shop without paying. If no, tell them you understand they might be shy, and put them in groups to 'share their secrets'.
In pairs or threes or whatever, give them the following questions to discuss:
Have you ever stolen anything from a shop?
Do you know anybody else who shoplifts regularly?
Would you ever nick anything from a shop? If so, under what circumstances?
Get feedback on questions - get one in each group to 'report' back and try to find some way of getting the others to contribute instead of just staring at you when you're not the one talking.
Have a quick vote on who thinks it's right or wrong to shoplift. If you have someone who is opposed to it under any circumstances whatsoever, try not to spit on them as you put them in the same group with the one who you most suspect of having a criminal record. Or alternatively, stick them in a pair with the one who hardly ever....says..............any........................
thing.
Give them the following questions:
Do you think it's right or wrong to shoplift? Why/why not?
Is stealing from local shops the same as stealing from supermarkets? Why/why not?
Do you know anyone who's ever get caught shoplifting? Did you feel sorry for them?
See if anyone knows about the €350 thing. Briefly ask them what they could steal 'for' €350. Tell them that all the things they've mentioned are basically free if you're prepared to maybe lose face a little in your local community.
Tell them they're going to practice their shoplifting skills. Because they're just practising, they will have to take it in turns to be the thief and the shop assistant, or if you have or prefer threes, the third one can be the manager.
EITHER tell them you didn't have time to prepare properly, and hand them some post-it notes so they can write role-cards for the other pairs. Remind them that you want to practice as realistically as possible, so they should think of a variety of people in different shopping places - supermarkets, chinese shops, newspaper & porn kiosks, off-licenses, the fucking Body Shop, and so on.
Get down into your Tefl Crouch and help them write their role-cards.
OR alternatively you could use these ones I made earlier.
Swap round the role-cards and tell them to get practicing...
..and then all you have to do is wander round giggling and waiting for the bell to ring, which, what with my appalling sense of .... timing, should have been about 35-40 minutes ago.
|
I've recently found myself in what is for me a very unusual situation; that of being the victim of an injustice. I'm not going to go into any details here, suffice it to say that it's a workplace-related dispute which I'm determined to resolve in the calmest and most effective way possible, which is to get those responsible into big heaps of trouble themselves. I find that doing so actually gives me a fair bit of satisfaction and moral purpose. When I was striding purposefully to work this morning I idly started to imagine myself as some sort of Soldier of Fortune making a stand on behalf of the world's downtrodden and mistreated. Fortunately the consequences for me or for the world as a whole are not particularly serious, but it's gratifying to feel that I'm definitely taking the right course of action for a change.
If by any chance you hear of a bloodbath taking place in a language school in Cambridge, you'll know that I've had a change of tactics.
On the theme of the struggle against injustice, there is someone, quite possibly a child, who has taken to hanging round this website expressing heartfelt concern for the possible fate of Britain's muslims as a result of the Government's catastrophic reaction to the terrorist attacks in London. He, she or it has also repeatedly expressed outrage on behalf of the malogrado Brazilian executed in cold blood and with apparent impunity by the British police several weeks ago.
This may appear puzzling to anyone who has visited this site before, given that it focuses almost exclusively on issues related directly to my experiences of teaching English in China. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that the person concerned may just be Chinese, and that a basic fact about the big wide world outside China may remain tantalisingly outside their grasp.
It goes pretty much like this: it is not just that people living outside of autocratic regimes enjoy the freedom to openly think and speak critically about what goes on in their and in other countries - many, many people around the world do not see the country where they happened to be born as the single defining factor in the way they choose to see the world. This means that they see injustice as something that exists in every country, and something that must be exposed and fought wherever it occurs in the world.
For this reason, until I begin to meet many more Chinese people who can and will express concern for the victims of injustice in China, I will not be inclined to regard their expressions of outrage at injustice elsewhere as genuine or sincere. Which is a shame, because I have the feeling that some very noble and laudable sentiments, especially amongst young Chinese people, are being led carefully astray.
|
At the moment in my school we have a group of students from China and one from Taiwan, and it's pretty interesting to witness the dynamics between the two. I've learnt pretty quickly that the best way to distinguish between them is to ask if they're from Taipei or Shenzhen, because the Chinese students, who are absolutely charming in every other way, really do feel obliged to forcefully respond with the point that They Are From The Mainland, And Taiwan Is Part Of China. I have to confess that now I'm not in China anymore my response has been to start whistling and look extremely bored - not that they seem able to take the hint though.
From what I've seen they completely ignore the Taiwanese kids; maybe it's the fear of lack of face that makes them do so, because it's pretty obvious to me that even the shortest conversation would lead to arguments which they might well lose. As a consequence most Taiwanese kids seem to think that the Shenzhen kids just don't like them, which is a real shame. Last week at the disco the Shenzhen kids just sat in a big group near the door looking utterly uncomfortable, while the students from 'Taipei' and, er, other parts of Taiwan pranced around having a great time, dancing and making friends with people from other, erm, countries. So I suggested that next week the (hem hem) mainlanders bring some of their own cds to play - maybe the fact that the Taiwaners know all the same songs will force them to get to know each other a bit. I'm trying in my own small way to break down the barriers a bit - after all, they all like the same music and share a lot of cultural references, so there's no real reason they shouldn't be singing together at Karaoke.
It's difficult marshalling them as a group when we're out on excursions together - obviously the Taiwanese kids don't want to be referred to as Chinese (yesterday I amused them by repeatedly insisting that Taiyuan is a part of China. I don't think I was saying it right though), so I've just taken to shouting 'Can we get all the ethnically Chinese people together please?!' I know it's uncomfortable for the Chinese students, but I just want to subtly suggest to them that their attitude makes them suddenly seem to be completely indoctrinated and more than just a little bit mad.
|
Seeing as I will soon be returning to the world of proper TEFL teaching (No more than 16 students to a class! Chairs you can move around! Staff rooms! Students who bring notebooks to class!) here are some really useful English teaching links I've come across recently:
www.tesall.com is great for jobs, lessons plans and also for links to the best ESL teacher's blogs all over the world - they were recently kind enough to feature a prominent link to my article about Tefl as a Missionary Language.
www.doyoutefl.com will soon be a great resource if you've left teaching, or if you've moved on to another school or country. It's basically a TEFL version of that site I've forgotten the name of where you look up and get in touch with old schoolfriends, and is just starting up, so obviously the more people who sign up soon the better. The people who run the site are extremely helpful at offering TEFL-related advice too.
www.developingteachers.com is a site more for serious teachers, particularly for people intending to Do the DELTA, like what I am. They have very detailed lesson plans to look at and use, and lots, and lots, and lots, of really useful teaching tips.
|
Also on the theme of the Christian right in China, someone reminded me of the role that Christian fundamentalists say China will play in their forthcoming apocalypse. They apparently believe that the rise of China is a clear sign that we are "nearing midnight", and that China's need for oil will soon push it into conflict with Israel, triggering the coming of their lord and the smiting of the godless. They also get very excited at any agreements between China and the EU (the rebirth of the Roman Empire), which they see as somehow connected to the Beast, as is Russia of course. I'd love to know how these Jesus freaks sell that to their potential converts!
You can read about it on sites like this:
Even newspapers in China now predict a war with the United States. China cannot match (yet) the U.S. in modern weapons and technology. For example, the U.S. has 18 times as many nuclear missiles. What China has many more times of is men. According to Revelation 9:14-16, an army of 200 million soldiers will cross the Euphrates from the East to fight at the battle of Armageddon.
According to Revelation 16:12, this gigantic army will belong to the "kings of the east" and advance over a prepared way. The way has been prepared. On April 20,2001, on a CNBC news program, Thomas Friedman, the New York Times international news analyst, stated that the real danger with which the United States will have to contend with in the future is China making an alliance with the nations of the East, which was now in progress.
Poking around in these dark corners of the Interweb is very entertaining as long as you try and forget that George W. Bush's administration takes a lot of this nonsense seriously, and may have it in mind as they provoke chaos and rebellion across the Middle East.
|
Yesterday I mentioned that all churches in China have to recognise the ultimate authority of the Communist Party in order to practice here. Well, it's not quite as simple as that:
1. Christian believers must fervently love the People's Republic of China, support the leadership of the Chinese Communist Party and the Peoples Government, uphold the unification of the motherland and the harmony among ethnic groups, and work steadfastly on the road of socialism.
2. Christian believers must strictly abide by all the laws, regulations, and policies of the Communist Party and the State, and strive to be patriotic and law abiding citizens.
3. Christian believers must actively work to increase the material wealth and cultivate the spiritual morals of the socialist civilization. They must comply with the government's labor codes and strive to contribute to the development of the "Four Modernizations." When scheduled religious activities are in conflict with production and work schedules, the economic activities must take priority.
4. A permit must be obtained from the county Religious Affairs Bureau in order to establish religious meeting points. No unauthorized meeting points are allowed.
5. Christian believers must actively cooperate with the government to carry out thoroughly the Party's religious policies to the letter. They shall not persuade and force others to believe in Christianity. They shall not brainwash teenagers under 18 with religious beliefs. They shall not bring children to religious activities.
6. One should see a doctor for medication when sick. Christian believers must not resort to prayer alone for healing so as not to endanger people's health and lives.
7. Christian believers shall not preach their religion outside the church buildings and specific places which have been designated for religious activities. They shall not preach itinerantly. They shall not receive self proclaimed evangelists into their homes, churches, or meeting points.
|
While he was still President, Jiang Zemin was allegedly asked at a dinner party what fundamental change he would like to see happen in China. His response was that he would like to see China become a Christian country.
He's not isolated in this. Some of the leading creatures at the top of the CCP have apparently concluded from their studies of developed countries that the key to their success was the role of Christian beliefs. I don't think they're being inconsistent in this, given that there isn't really anything to Party ideology any more apart from nationalism, the need for an authoritarian state and letting the free market take over all aspects of economic life. In fact, I think it's better to think of the CCP as the Chinese Nationalist Party (國民党!) these days. And I think it's precisely this vacuum of ideas that makes young people in particular so vulnerable to right-wing fundamentalist groups like this who dispatch every year more and more young people to China to preach the holy word - under the guise of teaching english.
I came across this fascinating and timely article about missionary groups using ESL as a means of harvesting converts around the world. Unfortunately as it's a PDF I can't copy and post much of it here, but I'd encourage anyone remotely interested in either ESL or the evil influence of these bible bashing nutters to read the whole article, long as it is:
According to a report by missionaries recently returned from China, they are planning to return soon: 'We will teach English to Chinese students between the ages of 10 and 18 for six weeks in July and August.' On their last visit, they tell us, 'over 350 students heard the Gospel' and the principal of the school admired their dedication even though, as he explained, 'I don't understand what they were talking about but I knew it was something very deep and very special.'
It is something I find extremely worrying, not to say depressing. I've heard that in some cases in China the religious organisations offer to pay half the salaries of these 'teachers'. We have at least one of them here - I have seen the person concerned heading into class with a big thick 'Rapture'-type book. I've heard about Chinese students being baptised by foreign teachers in the bathtub of their apartments. Sometimes one of my students proclaims in class that they're a Christian - I just ignore it and move very swiftly on. Tragically though, because the students have so few reference points to help them understand Western life in any depth (hence the appalling and maddening assumption that I am a Christian), I think they actually see it as pretty 'cool'.
Personally the whole thing makes my blood boil.
This is not a general diatribe against teachers who happen to consider themselves Christians - you really need to follow the above link to know what I'm talking about. As it makes clear, what the organisations concerned are proselytising is the complete opposite of Liberation Theology. The article gives some example sentences which one English teaching missionary group encourages their staff to use in the classroom:
Right: Man has a right to punish his children when they behave poorly.
Struggle: I'm struggling to finish this work soon.
Boss: The boss is good. He treats us well and pays us a good wage.
No problem for them that all churches in China are obliged to accept the authority of the Communist Party before they can go about their work. And the Communist Party leadership are fully aware that what right-wing Christian ideology has to say about the world constitutes very little threat to their own power, so they at least tolerate it, and I suspect increasingly encourage it. What is being preached, after all, is submission - submission to whatever forms of authority exist, be it a husband (we call it the missionary position for a good reason!), a corrupt government or an intolerant and ignorant God. In much the same way, in fact, as the world's financial institutions force obedience to the law of the market on the world's poorest countries:
While on the one hand preaching a strong line in neoliberal politics, many evangelical organisations preach an equally strong line on political aquiescence. The Christan Television (online, 2002) warns us to 'Stop the Revolution' because 'one day Jesus will return and overthrow all who remain rebellious to this rule.' Stopping rebellion allows former sinners to find 'true freedom'. This doctrine emphasises aquiescence not only to the authority of God but also to the authority of government.
With tragic irony, these Christian churches are preaching this nonsense under the guise of giving people what has become one of the most empowering tools these days, the ability to communicate in English.
At least in China, I'd question the depth of conviction of any recent converts to Christianity. According to Paul Theroux's book, it's very common for 'religious' Chinese people to bet on several horses at the same time. Just because someone says they're a Christian doesn't mean that they don't believe in Taoism, Confucianism, Buddhism, Falun Gong and maybe the Party too!
However, this is not just happening in Chinese universities, but all over the world. There needs to be a movement throughout ESL to expose and challenge these people. They are exploiting the needs of the poor in order to push their twisted, bigoted ideology. They really do qualify as 'foreign devils'!
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
rwillmsen's journal